Marble Arch Mound is what happens when Ideas Porn comes to life
Idea porn happens when a group of people gather in a silo, usually a brainstorming situation, to develop a crowd-pleasing concept. This group gets so excited by the potential incarnation of an idea that their collective desire spirals into something almost sexual - a kind of orgasmic glee that overrides the reality of the potential downside.
To stymie the likelihood of this occurring, we have a concept we call the Brainstorm-Reality gap: the gulf between the idea porn that would be perfect were it not for the practical, logistical and financial constraints of reality, and those within the realm of the possible that come closest to doing the same storytelling job.
The Marble Arch Mound is a perfect example of what happens without a grown-up in the room to bridge this gap and apply the ‘cold shower’ of common sense.
The problem for Westminster Council was clearly how to attract footfall to a decreasingly fashionable part of town.
The ensuing conversation might have gone along the following lines:
“It’s a shame we don’t have a view to rival Greenwich Park or Primrose Hill. People just really love a view at the moment.”
“Okay I’m just going to put this out there because it’s a bit edgy and a bit of a wildcard: what if we made a new view of Oxford Street?”
“OMG GENIUS. Hills are so iconic right now, we should just make a new hill. And we can make it really bougie and West London by shoving an art installation and an M&S Simply Food inside it like Dr.Evil’s lair. TikTok will die.”
So it goes. The excitement and backslapping proliferate until £2M has been poured into a project that will take months, if not years, to be fit for public consumption, and yet threw itself at the mercy of the public, the global media, and the social media mob looking like a Cormac McCarthy’s chapter on Teletubby Land after the apocalypse.
I’m all for creative ambition, but part of the reason we marvel at genius promotional ideas is because they take place in reality.