Borkowski Media Trends: Afghanistan Leak, Coldplay Kiss Cam & MORE
PLUS: Lamine Yamal Birthday Party | Diabetic Barbie | Elmo gets hacked
Nothing to report
This week has seen the UK government tackling yet another crisis. In 2023, under former PM Rishi Sunak and Defence Secretary Grant Shapps, a superinjunction was imposed to conceal a data breach from Feb 2022 by the MoD. The breach was caused by a British soldier who accidentally revealed a database of 33,000 records, including personal information associated with 18,714 Afghans who had applied to the ARAP and ACRS schemes to be relocated to the UK. The superinjunction was lifted this week, causing a political flashpoint for both governments as it was revealed that this mistake resulted in a secret resettlement operation which has cost up to half a billion in taxpayer money.
At a time of rising inflation and the looming threat of more tax hikes the cost of this mistake is unlikely to be forgotten quickly. Shapps defended his actions claiming he would “do the same thing all over again”. Shapps used an interview on BBC’s Today programme to double down, stating that the public would understand the lifesaving reasoning behind the superinjunction. Defence is a scary and thorny issue and the public increasingly look to strong leaders with strong responses. Shapp’s decisiveness and clarity is a refreshing antidote to the usual pandering in the Commons.
Meanwhile the current owner of the poisoned chalice, Keir Starmer is taking a hard line, demanding serious questions of Tory ex-ministers, and endorsing a Commons defence-committee inquiry. He refused to comment on the acceptability of superinjunctions, instead focusing on the breach itself. Defence Secretary John Healey issued a sincere apology and has pledged transparency.
The focus of coverage has been on the breach itself and its the costly repercussions. Polling shows Labour maintaining a modest lead, with Tory credibility rocked by the leak. The clarity of Shapp’s defence has however, helped focus the fallout on the MoD; and despite the breach having occurred under Boris Johnson’s premiership, his name is notably absent. Johnson’s absence places the spotlight on Starmer to deliver a robust response, if he fails to do so he may be seen as too weak to lead.
At a time when Britain’s public finances are under heavy strain and anti-immigration Reform is on the rise, Starmer will need to prove that he can act swiftly, and strongly or risk losing public trust.
What My Affair Taught Me About B2B Sales
By now, unless you haven’t touched the internet in the last 36 hours, it’s likely you’ve seen the story of the adulterous lovers caught in the act by Chris Martin.
Andy Byron, CEO of US software company Astronomer, and Kristin Cabot, his Head of HR, were captured, in flagrante, by the jumbotron at a Coldplay concert in Boston. Following their identification on TikTok, their names, job titles and marital statuses were plastered all over social media within hours, prompting them to set their LinkedIn profiles to private and the company itself to turn off their comments. Fake stories and statements also proliferated – a false statement, purporting to show Byron blaming Coldplay for his actions, was shared widely, forcing a representative for Astronomer to confirm to TMZ that it was fake.
Why does anyone care? Despite the suggestion, made by some online, that being the CEO of Astronomer is enough to make one a public figure, these are private individuals, unfortunately caught in a desperately embarrassing public moment. But it does chime with the broader trend towards antipathy to CEOs – in the grand tradition of the Oceangate incident, the level and tenor of humiliation seems to hinge as much on their perceived status as one-percenters as it does on the incident itself.
Global humiliation is now an instantaneous process, and one that no longer discriminates between public and private, or indeed personal and professional. While memes proliferated on Twitter, much of the direct harassment and abuse took place in comments on Byron and Astronomer’s LinkedIn pages. Perhaps the concept of a workplace scandal on a global scale was too much to resist, but it’s also a useful reminder that no one is immune from the guilty pleasures of schadenfreude – not even the grindset managerial classes.
A Small (Ya)malfunction
Lamine Yamal had just turned 17 when he graduated from "wonderkid" to international superstar. As one of Spain's standout players in last Summer’s European Championship triumph, his spotlight intensified, and so did concern from those close to him.
Months after Spain's Euro victory, Marca reported unease within FC Barcelona, sparked in part by a switch of agents: the notorious Jorge Mendes replaced Ivan de la Peña, a figure Barca believed offered Yamal more protection.
Turns out their fears weren’t necessarily misplaced. This week, buzz surrounded his 18th birthday party, which culminated in a tabloid fever dream: “Lamine Yamal to be investigated over dwarfism row”. While attempts were made to mitigate any backlash from the party, with phones reportedly banned to prevent leaks and NDAs signed, images taken off-site emerged with both dwarfs and escorts entering the site, while models spoke publicly claiming to be paid to attend if they met specific breast measurements.
Footballers are under increasing pressure to present as squeaky-clean role models, and these scenes feel like a throwback to old-school football carnage. While the game has never been more professional, we're not immune to the occasional Grealish-esque summer meltdown. And while Yamal may be operating at a level beyond most young talents, Barcelona’s decision to hand him the legendary No.10 shirt feels like an oddly timed endorsement.
Celebrities are only ever as grounded as the people around them, especially those as young as Yamal. The wrong entourage can derail even the most promising careers. If this episode is handled with maturity, it might be dismissed as a moment of youthful idiocy. However, with more reports that Spanish authorities are sniffing around the party's aftermath, we might not have seen the end. If Yamal cannot replicate last season's form or there's a serious dip in quality, it's going to be hard to shake his tainted reputation.
Barbie’s Glucose Glow-Up
Two years on from the heady days of Barbenheimer, Mattel is managing to keep the world’s favourite doll relevant, conversation starting and headline grabbing. The release of the first Barbie with type 1 diabetes, who comes with accessories including a glucose monitor and insulin pump, is the kind of story PR dreams are made of.
It’s got the brand name, a genuine purpose with built in feel good factor, and added celebrity sparkle. The latter comes from none other than ultimate nepo baby Lila Moss, who herself lives with T1D. A one off Lila Barbie has been created specially for the campaign, complete with the insulin pump that mini Moss proudly showed off on a 2021 Versace runway. The phrase “raising awareness,” which features heavily in the campaign, can sometimes feel overused, or even trite. But Mattel has somehow managed to make earnestness endearing, and sales of diabetes of Barbie are unlikely to impacted by any eye rolls.
The Elmo-tional rollercoaster of Fame
Just as surely as social media has gradually made Warhol’s “15 minutes” aphorism a reality, we are now entering a future where every famous person inevitably gets sucked into cancel culture, the culture wars, or the post-truth misinformation epidemic.
It’s no longer possible to be ubiquitously and inoffensively popular, and to prove this point, this week showbiz’s most harmless red muppet Elmo faced calls to “resign” after apparently being the victim of a hack which led to a slew of racist and antisemitic posts, including what the Gurdian describes as “profane” references to Jeffrey Epstein and the Epstein files.
Of course, Elmo and his bosses at Sesame Street have been cast as blameless victims in the case, which if anything serves as a reminder of their harmless innocence, whilst the hacker remains anonymous and at-large.
This means the only party to really suffer reputation damage is X itself. There is a perception that hacking and data breaches have increased since Twitter became X, and the company’s reputation is already in a fragile state following its boss’ political defenestration, its CEO resigning, and its built-in AI praising Hitler. Allowing Elmo’s account to turn into an 8Chan rant for a day will do little to ease the pressure at X.